


And Now You're Mine

by frecklesarechocolate



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Sam is the Best Brother Ever, Schmoop, So much schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-23 05:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frecklesarechocolate/pseuds/frecklesarechocolate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean asks Cas a question, and Cas's response isn't what Dean was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hubrisandwax (MaintainingEquilibrium)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Hubrisandwax+%28MaintainingEquilibrium%29).



> This is a birthday fic for [Ella](http://hubrisandwax.tumblr.com/) \- happy birthday sweetie, and I hope you had a wonderful day!!!
> 
> Thanks to [Bowtieddown](http://bowtieddown.tumblr.com/) and [Proxy](http://proxydialogue.tumblr.com/) for being fantastic betas.
> 
> A warning, this is quite possibly the schmoopiest schmoop I have ever written, and if you've read anything else by me, you know that's saying something.

"Do you ever think," Dean begins one late Sunday afternoon. "Do you ever think about what would have happened if we had never done... Well, this?"

They're lying in bed, naked, legs tangled together. Dean, on his back, Cas, resting his head on Dean's stomach. Dean runs his fingers lightly through Cas's thick hair, enjoying the silkiness of it on the sensitive skin between his fingers, while Cas practically purrs, pressing up into Dean.

Cas stays quiet for a long time, and Dean thinks he might not get an answer at all, when Cas says, "I suppose you would have found someone else. Gotten married, had children." Cas leans up to look at Dean, a worried expression drawing his brows together. "Didn’t you want all that?”

“You think I would’ve gotten married and had kids?” Dean asks, ignoring Cas’s question.

Cas shrugs. “Eventually. You’re built to do that. Create a family. Love people. Be loved.” He nuzzles under Dean’s jaw, pressing a soft kiss to his friend’s neck. “You didn’t answer my question though.”

“Hm?” Dean asks, distracted by Cas’s mouth on his neck. “Which question?”

“Do you still want to be married, have kids?” Cas repeats, and he pulls away from Dean’s neck to catch his eyes.

Dean’s about to answer flippantly, with a smirk and a cocky grin, but the look on Cas’s face says that the question means something to him. “Uh, Cas, is this hypothetical? Or are you asking... about us?”

Cas blinks, trying to parse Dean’s questions, and then his face clears. “I suppose I’m asking.”

Dean stares at Cas, his mouth hanging slightly open. He wants to pinch himself, to make sure this isn’t a dream. He wants to shake Cas, to make sure Cas isn’t joking, but most of all, he just wants to say yes. He can’t breathe for it, the sudden feeling of love and affection and pure _want_ rushing over him like a wave knocking him to the ground. He wants so badly, this promise of a family with Cas; he wants it so much that he’s certain he’ll die before he has the chance to answer, because he, Dean Winchester, does not get to have all that he wants.

And yet here is Cas, laying it out for him, offering it up, as casually as one might ask if a guest wanted a glass of water.

“Dean?” Cas asks when Dean doesn’t answer. It’s the impetus that Dean’s stalled lungs need, and he inhales deeply, breathing again. He’s back in the here and now, lying partially under Cas, their bodies warming each other.

“Yeah,” Dean gasps, and he repeats it. “Yes.”

“Yes to what?” Cas asks, and Dean thinks there’s the hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, the fucker. But Dean’s not taking any chances with this, no sir.

“All of it, Cas. Marriage, family, you, me.”

“Okay,” Cas says, and he puts his head down on Dean’s chest again.

“Okay? That’s it? Okay?”

Cas sighs, his warm air tickling Dean’s stomach. “Dean, I am an angel. Humans have so many rules for these kinds of things. I don’t know what they are. I asked you a question, you answered, and I’m pleased. What was I supposed to say?”

Dean laughs, a full belly laugh that shakes Cas. “You’re right, ‘m sorry, Cas. C’mon.” Dean rolls Cas over and turns himself, so they’re lying face-to-face. “Usually, in situations like this, when one person asks the other to marry them, and the person says yes? There’s celebration.”

“Celebration,” Cas says, suspicion in his tone. “I’ve seen you celebrate Dean. I’m warm and comfortable. I don’t want to get up and go to a bar right now.” Cas ghosts his hand down Dean’s back, letting it come to rest on the top of Dean’s ass.

Dean shivers a bit at Cas’s touch, and leans close, resting their foreheads together. “We can do that too. But I was thinking something along the lines of–” Dean kisses Cas, lips soft and pliant. Cas tastes of mint and something smoky. They move against each other, their noses nuzzling together, and Dean can feel the smile growing on Cas’s face as the kiss lengthens. Dean buries his fingers in Cas’s hair, wanting to surround himself with every sensation of Cas that he can.

Cas hums into Dean’s mouth and pulls back to search Dean’s eyes. “This is traditional?”

“I think so. I’ve never been proposed to before though,” Dean says, and Cas laughs, a loud, joyful sound.

“So what else is traditional?”

Dean thinks about it for a minute, and then says, “I think you have to ask for my parents’ blessing. So, we should probably ask Sammy.”

“And if he doesn’t give his blessing?” Cas asks, and he sounds genuinely worried.

“He will.”

“How can you be so sure?” Cas shifts back a bit, chewing on his lip.

“Cas, it’s Sam. He loves you. Of course he will. Besides, it’s just a formality. It’s not like we couldn’t get married if he said no.” Dean pauses, letting that word – _married_ – roll around his mouth, tasting it a bit.

Cas nods once, a strong, determined gesture. “I’ll ask him in the morning. And if he says no, then I’ll win him over.”

“Cas, you don’t have to...” Dean begins, but Cas interrupts him.

“I do. If he says no, then I will have to win his approval.” Cas captures Dean’s gaze again, looking at him seriously. “If it is worth doing, it’s worth doing properly. And marrying you is definitely worth doing.”

“Oh.” Dean doesn’t have a response for this. “Okay.”

It’s Cas’s turn to laugh. “That’s what I said.” Cas pulls Dean to him, and they negotiate arms, legs and torsos until they’re comfortable. “Good night, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.” Dean presses a soft kiss to Cas’s chest, and closes his eyes. He falls asleep with hopeful dreams, dreams of a home with Cas. Dreams of their children running and playing, dreams of a safe place, filled with love.

 


	2. Dites-moi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas asks Sam for Dean's hand in marriage. Kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By popular request! Thanks for encouraging me on this, guys.
> 
> And thank you to [Lis](http://clotpoleofthelord.tumblr.com) for betaing this!

Cas has never had trouble speaking with Sam in the past. It's a simple enough task, to begin a conversation, really. It should not be difficult at all.

Except when it really, really is.

This morning, the three of them are seated around the table in the kitchen, eating breakfast. Breakfast made by Dean, with crisp bacon and pancakes (pancakes!) that practically melted in your mouth. Sam had already gobbled his up, and now his hands are wrapped around a mug of coffee. Cas savours his food, taking the time to cut precise bites and putting his fork and knife down after each mouthful.

Dean watches Cas, his eyes dark, and Cas knows that Sam will bolt at any minute if Dean doesn't stop staring.

But Cas has about half of his pancakes left.

And he has something he needs to ask Sam.

Cas sighs and spends a little less time with his pancakes, a little less time letting the flavors roll over his tongue. He nudges Dean's knee with his own and when Dean focuses on his eyes (rather than his mouth), Cas lets his brows fall together just a fraction in silent admonition.

Dean arches one brow. _What?_ He asks with the gesture.

Cas flicks his eyes at Sam, and Dean frowns for a moment, not understanding. Then his expression lightens and he nods. Sam continues to drink his coffee, patently ignoring the silent conversation between his brother and his friend.

Dean shoots another look at Cas. _Do you want me to leave?_ And Cas has to think about that for a minute, because he'd kind of thought he'd work his way up to talking to Sam, not jump right into the deep end.

He shakes his head minutely. He's not ready.

Breakfast finishes, and they clean up. House rules: he who cooks the meal doesn't have to clean up after. Sam and Cas do the dishes together, while Dean goes out to the library to see if there are any potential hunts nearby.

Of course, it would be the perfect time, but Cas can't seem to get his mouth to open, and when he finally does, nothing comes out. So he and Sam wash the dishes together in silence, and Cas fidgets next to Sam uncomfortably.

Opportunities to talk alone with Sam arise throughout the day, of course, but for some reason, Cas seems unable (or perhaps unwilling) to want to bring up his request.

That evening in bed, Cas nuzzles Dean's neck and sighs. "This is more difficult than I thought it would be."

Dean chuckles, a low, comforting sound. "Cas, you really don't have to, you know. I told you, Sam loves you. We can just tell him."

Cas sits up, indignant. "No. You said it was traditional. I'll do it." He lies back down again. "I want to."

They lie in the dark, quiet but for the sound of their breathing. Dean presses a kiss to the top of Cas's head. "What's stopping you from asking?" he asks softly after a little while.

Cas shrugs, his shoulder bumping against Dean's upper arm. "I don't know." He thinks about it, running through a litany of reasons, rejecting each one in turn. Finally he says, "It's a very human thing to want. And," Cas sighs. "I want to do it right."

"Hm," Dean hums, turning so he's curled in Cas's arms, his cheek resting by Cas's clavicle. "You will."

* * *

 

There are plenty of opportunities throughout the week for Cas to ask Sam. They keep popping up at the most random times. Always when they're cleaning up after a meal, but then there are times when Sam and Cas just happen to both be sitting quietly in the library, reading through some of the Men of Letters books of lore. Or when Dean hops out of the car to fill it with gas, leaving both Sam and Cas to sit in the Impala, staring out of the windshield at nothing in particular. No gas station on the planet is interesting to stare at, and yet both Sam and Cas have been staring at them across the country for years.

Still, Cas doesn't ask. After that first night, Dean doesn't say anything about it, knowing that Cas will get to it in his time. And if anyone were to say that Dean's been peeking at the websites of good venues for wedding spots, he'd call them a damn liar. (But there's this gorgeous park just outside of Des Moines, Iowa, that Dean's got his eye on.)

Sam asks Cas to go jogging with him late on a Thursday afternoon. The weather is perfect, it's been gorgeous for a few days, actually. Clear blue skies above, low humidity, cool temperatures. It feels more like early fall than it does August, and Sam says he wants to take advantage of the fact. Cas agrees to go with him, but Dean declines, since he's shoulders deep in the Impala giving her a tune-up.

They run out away from the bunker for about thirty minutes and then turn around to walk back. Cas chews on his lip for about five minutes, and then finally blurts, "I want to marry Dean."

Sam stops and stares at Cas. "Okay. Um. Does Dean know?"

Cas sighs and scrubs his face. "That didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Yes. Dean knows, I asked him last week. He said it was traditional to ask the family for their blessing."

Sam bursts into laughter, but stops when Cas tilts his head to the side, his brow furrowed. "Oh. Oh my god. You're seriously asking me." Sam covers his mouth, because he's still kind of laughing. He takes a deep breath and says, "Well, of course you have my blessing. You always have."

Cas brightens at that, a tiny smile lighting his features, and he nods, once. "Thank you, Sam."

"So, you guys are really gonna do it? Get married?" They start walking again, falling into step side-by-side.

Cas nods. "That's the plan, yes."

"You guys won't be able to do that here in Kansas," Sam says, making a face to show just what he thinks of that. "The closest state is Iowa. And I'll have to look into what the laws are on recognizing marriages from other states..." Sam trails off, making a mental list of things that he needs to research in order to help Dean and Cas make this happen.

By the time they return to the bunker, Sam's got a list of about fifty things that he needs to do in order to make Dean and Cas's wedding legal. However, he looks excited at the prospect of a new project.

Dean's coming out of the shower room, and he grins, ear to ear, upon seeing them both. Cas can't resist wrapping his arms around Dean, who complains (not at all convincingly) about Cas being all sweaty and gross. Sam waits until they pull apart, and then he engulfs Dean in an embrace as well.

"Dude, uh, Cas is one thing, but you're kinda gross too," Dean says.

"Congratulations, man. I'm just. I'm so happy for you guys."

"Oh. Oh!" Dean says, when he realizes what Sam's talking about. He throws a glance at Cas, who smiles and nods, blue eyes twinkling. "Thanks Sam." Dean hovers in the doorway, hands hanging loosely at his sides, kind of at a loss. Sam's stepped out of his personal bubble, and the three of them are standing around awkwardly. Finally, Sam clears his throat and jerks his thumb over his shoulder.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna shower."

"Okay, good. Great, yeah," Dean says. "I'm gonna go get dressed."

The moment over, the three men go their separate ways, reconvening at the kitchen table for dinner that evening. Sam's bubbling over with ideas about the wedding, and he can't stop talking about all that he's found out about same-sex marriage in the midwest. Cas looks bewildered at the barrage of information issuing forth from Sam, not realizing just how complex the entire thing was.

Finally, Dean puts his fork down and says, "Sam! Leave some of the details for us to figure out, okay?"

Sam looks sad for a moment, eyes pulled down and his lower lip juts out just a touch. Were Sam a toddler, it would begin to quiver at any second, the countdown to a bout of waterworks. But Sam brightens after a minute, and grins. "Yeah, of course." He takes another bite of his dinner. "You guys gonna go real formal and wear tuxes?"

"We hadn't gotten that far, Sam. And..." Dean hesitates, looking at Cas. And suddenly he's picturing Cas in a black tuxedo with an ivory fitted waistcoat hugging his body, and his mouth is dry. Dean swallows, Adam's apple bobbing, and says, hoarsely. "Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna get tuxes."

"Great! Hey, we should invite people."

"Yeah, Sammy, great." Dean says, but he's not really paying attention to his brother. He's eyeing Cas, who's staring back, a quizzical look on his face. "Sammy, you can clean up, right? Awesome, thanks." Dean's up and out of his chair, pulling Cas down the hallway behind him before Sam has a chance to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, I do have a particular tuxedo in mind.


	3. Do you? Do you? Good, you're married. Kiss him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow there are a lot of things you need to think about when you're planning a wedding.

“I had no idea there were so many... choices,” Cas says, flipping through a bridal magazine at the checkout. They’re in Target, and they’re ostensibly there shopping for stuff for the bunker, but there’s a suspicious number of magazines and candles in their basket, and Cas has...

“Cas, are those wedding invitations?” Dean asks, plucking the box from Cas’s fingers. He shoves it onto the magazine rack behind a copy of US magazine.

Cas puts the magazine down on the conveyor belt. “Yes. We are going to need them if we’re going to invite people to the wedding.” His eyes flicker to the new hiding spot for the invitations, but he doesn’t pick them back up again.

Dean picks up the magazine from the belt and puts it back on the magazine rack. “Cas, we don’t need this stuff. We don’t need bridal magazines, and we don’t need invitations, and we don’t...”

“Dean,” Cas cuts Dean off mid-rant. There’s a young woman ahead of them in line, and she’s so conspicuously not listening that Dean knows she’s heard every single word. “I have never gotten married before...”

Dean snorts.

“I have never gotten married before,” Cas repeats. “And I would like to have a nice wedding.”

Dean scrubs his face. “Cas, weddings are expensive.” Dean leans forward and says more quietly, “And we don’t have enough fake credit cards to pay for a big wedding.”

Cas shoots a look at Dean, his mouth setting. “It’s very clear from these magazines that weddings are expensive. But this one,” here Cas gets the magazine back off the rack, “has information on inexpensive weddings. And we’re not going to use any of those credit cards to pay for it.”

“So how are we going to pay for it then?” Dean asks, and he’s really wondering why on earth he’s having this conversation in a Target of all places, where the chick ahead of them is eavesdropping, and the guy behind them looks like he’s about to start laughing his ass off.

Cas starts taking the rest of their items out of their cart and putting it on the conveyor belt. “We will find a way,” he says primly.

Five minutes, far too much money and six magazines (SIX!) later, they’re loading their packages in the trunk of the Impala. They get in the car, and before he starts it up, Dean turns to Cas. “Cas, it’s not that I don’t want to have a nice ceremony, it’s just that... why does it have to be a big deal?”

Cas undoes his seatbelt and scoots closer to Dean. “Because marriage is a big deal, Dean.” He kisses Dean, running his tongue lightly over Dean’s lower lip and then slides back to his side of the car. “And I think we should take the time to celebrate something good in our lives. Don’t you?”

Well. There’s really nothing Dean can say to that.

* * *

 

Sam and Cas pore over bridal magazines. Cas gets a binder – a binder! – with sheet protectors and slides pages from the magazines into each plastic slip. He fills one binder completely and goes out to buy another one. In the store, he runs into a wedding planner, who gives Cas his card.

Dean “accidentally” forgets to clean out Cas’s pockets and washes the card in their next load of laundry. He’s not paying someone else to plan his wedding, no thank you.

Dean wants to know why they can’t just text everyone and tell them when and where to show up.

Sam is horrified. “Dean! You can’t just _text_ people. You have to invite them! They’ll have to make travel plans and find a place to stay, and...”

“Oh for the love of... Fine. But we’re not using those wedding invitations with the flowers on them. And _no pink_.” Cas opens up the binder and pulls out three of the magazine pages and throws them away.

It takes them two weeks, but they finally find an invitation that Dean can live with. And he actually really likes them. He likes that they aren’t too fancy, although they have a bit of class to them, and he thinks the top hats that grace the sides are cool. Not that he’d wear a top hat or anything. Maybe.

* * *

 

It turns out that Dean actually has a lot of opinions about their wedding. He wants it to be outside. He doesn’t want cake, he wants pie. And he has definite opinions about the music. Once he realizes that not only does there need to be music to walk down the aisle to, but _different_ music to walk back up the aisle, and then there’s music for the reception, he’s completely immersed in the entire process.

The thing is, other than weddings in the movies or on television, Dean realizes he’s never actually been to a wedding. He has no idea what is normal, or expected. He vaguely remembers one of the weddings from Dr. Sexy, MD having classical music for the bride to walk down the aisle to, but what about when there’s two grooms? Does one walk down the aisle?

That question involves a big pow wow. Dean asks Cas, who looks puzzled. They both go and ask Sam, who says, “Huh,” and thinks about it for a while. Then he says, “What if... what if you guys both walked down each side and met in the middle?”

Cas looks at Dean, who kind of shrugs and then nods. “I like that idea very much, Sam,” Cas says.

“And then after the ceremony, you could walk down the main aisle together,” Sam adds. “That would be a nice touch, don’t you think?”

Dean thinks it’s a little... well, gay, but Cas is already nodding and smiling about it, and there’s a warm feeling settling in Dean’s belly, so maybe it’ll be nice. “Yeah,” he says, when he realizes that Sam and Cas are both looking at him, waiting for an answer.

* * *

 

He still hasn’t figured out what music they’re going to need for the ceremony, but he figures there’s time for that. He has a fantastic time working on playlists for the reception. He picks all of his favorite songs. He’s about halfway through his third playlist when he realizes that he hasn’t asked Cas about one song on the list.

He thumps his head against the table a few times and goes in search of Cas, who is hiding out somewhere in the bunker. He finds Cas sitting on the floor of their room, surrounded by books from the local public library. Every one of them is about planning weddings, and hosting your own reception.

“Cas?” Dean says, kneeling next to him. “What’re you doing?”

Cas looks up at Dean, and there’s something a little... well, wild in his eyes. Dean resists the urge to rear back from it. Cas’s hair is even more mussed than usual, and he’s got ink stains on the fingers of his right hand.

“Dean, there are too many decisions to make. What kind of food do we want. What kind of wine. Should there be other desserts besides the cake – pie. What kind of silverware. Tablecloths, lights, tents, flowers, vows, it’s unending!”

Dean shoves aside all the books and sits down. He pulls Cas into his arms and bumps their foreheads together gently. “It’s okay, Cas. We don’t have to have all of that stuff, you know.”

“Yes, but...” Cas begins, but Dean cuts him off by kissing him.

“Cas. The only thing that matters to me is that we get married. I don’t care about silverware or tents or tablecloths or any of that. I just care about you.”

Cas closes his eyes and inhales deeply. “Okay.” He repeats the word again, and opens his eyes. “One of these books in here has something about having a simple wedding.”

“Let’s look at that. But later, okay? Let’s just...” Dean pulls Cas closer. “Let’s just sort of sit here for a bit.”

“Just sit?” Cas asks, smirking.

“Or something,” Dean says, kissing Cas.

* * *

 

“Do you want to write our own vows?” Cas asks one morning while they’re lying in bed. Dean’s trying to decide whether he wants to get up just then, or roll over into Cas’s body and doze for another hour or so.

“Hm?” Dean asks. “What?”

“Well, we can use the traditional vows, or we can write our own,” Cas explains, running his fingers lightly through Dean’s hair. Dean arches up into the touch.

“What are you talking about, Cas?” Dean asks, because he’d really just been asleep like ten minutes ago, and now Cas is talking about vows?

“Wedding vows, Dean. You know, for our marriage,” Cas says, and though he sounds impatient, when Dean lifts his head to look at his friend, there’s a smile on his lips that Dean just has to kiss, so he does, ignoring the question for the time being.

“Right. The vows. For our marriage,” Dean says after a little while. He kisses Cas again, grinning into the kiss, because he’s kind of loving the phrase “our marriage”, and he’s got a swooping feeling in his gut just thinking about it. “What are the traditional ones?”

“Oh, humm...” Cas raises his eyes to look at the ceiling while he thinks. “For richer or poorer, better or worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.”

“Huh,” Dean says, and he thinks about it for a while. He remembers the vows now, from whatever episode of Dr. Sexy it was that Dr. Sexy married that nurse, or was it the oncologist? But he remembers thinking those vows were kind of lame. “And if we didn’t use those vows, we’d write our own?”

Cas nods. “Yes. I have several ideas already, if that’s the way you want to go.”

Dean snorts, because of course Cas is already planning for his own vows, he’s probably been thinking about them since this whole escapade began. “Would we have to show each other our vows before the ceremony?” Dean asks, getting an inkling of an idea.

“Dean, you’re asking me like I’m the expert at this or something.”

“You were the one who knew about the vows. You’re the closest thing we have to an expert, Cas.” Dean kisses Cas, though, because he doesn’t want to fight.

“Oh. Well, then, no, if we didn’t want to share them until the ceremony, then we wouldn’t have to.”

“Okay then. Let’s write our own vows.”

“And keep them to ourselves until the ceremony,” Cas asks, just making sure.

“Yep,” Dean says. “Now, can we maybe do something else in bed?” He rolls over to straddle Cas, circling his hips a little and making Cas gasp.

“Dean...”

* * *

 

A week and a half later, and Dean's wishing that he hadn't agreed to writing their own vows. Putting into words what Cas meant to him was really difficult. He could barely quantify his feelings in his own mind, let alone out loud in front of people.

Oh god.

He'll have to say them in front of people.

Not a lot of people, to be sure. They'd invited Charlie, of course, plus Garth, Kevin, his mom, Krissy and Jody. But he was going to have to say this stuff out loud.

Dean groans and wonders whether it's too late to back out.

He immediately regrets having even the thought, glancing over his shoulder at Cas, who is sitting at the other end of the library, deeply engrossed in something on Sam's laptop. Cas must sense Dean's gaze, because he raises his head and smiles at Dean, a small, contented thing that makes Dean feel doubly guilty for even thinking about backing out.

_Nut up_ , Winchester he thinks, _don't be such an idiot_. Of course, now he's thinking about Bobby, and what he'd say about this whole thing. Bobby'd probably be all gruff and annoyed on the outside, but at some point, he'd give Dean a fierce hug and say something along the lines of, "It's about time, ya idjit."

Yeah, okay. He can do this.

He goes on long meandering walks, hoping that maybe he'll be inspired by nature. When he realizes that he's never been inspired by nature to write anything in the past, he berates himself for about ten minutes before deciding instead to work on the Impala.

All that garners him is a little more grease beneath his fingernails and a more smoothly running transition, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't get him closer to his goal.

He sneaks Sam's laptop away and looks up sample vows online, and immediately slams down the lid, because no. They're just not him. He just can't say those things.

But.

He opens the laptop up again and looks through them, thinking that while maybe he can't say these exact words, he can read them for the sentiment, and maybe it will help him put words down on paper.

He tries to spy on Cas, to see what Cas is putting down for his vows, because he figures if there's anyone who's gonna write the best vows ever, it's going to be Cas. Cas may be quiet most of the time, but when he does talk, his words matter. They have weight and meaning.

Cas is a cagey fucker, though, and either he's already written them, or he's not writing them down at all, because every time Dean catches him with a pen and a piece of paper, he's crossing things off an existing list, or creating a new one.

After several days of staring at an empty pad of paper that he only manages to fill with doodles and random curse words, he shoves back his chair and decides to call a timeout on the vow writing.

Something will come to him eventually.

It usually does.

* * *

 

Turns out that Charlie is an officiant. She's got a certificate and everything, all calligraphied up and ready to go. She drops this particular tidbit when they're watching _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ one night, the episode where Keiko and O'Brien get married.

"Totally non denominational, of course." Charlie glances at Cas, as if worried that he might try to smite here then and there. "But I can marry you guys right up. I can even do the short short version if you'd like."

Cas's brow wrinkles at this, certain it's yet another reference that he doesn't get. He likes Charlie very much, but finds talking with her bewildering. Most of her speech is peppered with things from popular culture, and while Cas is catching up (it's hard not to, spending as much time with Dean as he does), there's still more that he just doesn't know.

Dean snorts, and says, "Nah, don't think that'll be necessary. No Prince Valium's gonna want to marry me."

Now, Cas is completely confused, and when he says so, Charlie's jaw drops.

"Dean. You haven't shown him _Spaceballs_ yet??" This of course, results in a required viewing, and while Cas thinks the movie is mostly silly, some of the jokes are pretty funny, especially since he's seen all of the _Star Wars_ and _Star Trek_ movies at least three times by now (Dean always wants to watch them).

Later, after Charlie's gone back home, Dean asks Cas if he'd like to have Charlie officiate their wedding. Cas doesn't have to think about it for too long. He says yes, and the grin on Dean's face is so wide his face practically cracks.

"Awesome."

* * *

 

They buy tuxes. They actually _buy_ tuxes, which Dean cannot fathom. Why do they need to own the tuxes? But as he’s about to ask this very question, Cas just gives him a look. He’s good at that, Cas is, and he still manages to convey the idea that whoever is on the receiving end of this look is about to get smote, but good. So Dean hands over a credit card, ignoring the glare that Cas shoots him (this one does not imply imminent smiting, so Dean figures he’s okay... for now) and purchases the two tuxedos.

The thing is, Cas looks amazingly hot in his. The waistcoat fits his torso perfectly, hugging every line tightly, and the way he wears the jacket... well, Dean has a hard time keeping himself under control in the store. It occurs to him that he’ll have to help Cas with the tie, which isn’t a bow tie, but a standard tie that matches the waistcoat. He smiles to himself about that, because he actually really likes fixing Cas’s ties. (Anything to get his hands on Cas, frankly.)

It’s only after they’re leaving the store after their last fitting that Dean realizes that – _holy shit_ – he and Cas are getting _married_. In a week. He stops in the middle of the sidewalk, and Cas doesn’t notice until he’s about halfway up the block. He comes back and says, “Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas. Um. We’re getting married.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Yes. We’ve been planning our wedding for over a month. Generally, marriage follows that activity.”

“Uh yeah, I guess, but. Cas, we’re getting _married_.”

Cas stares at Dean for a long moment, and then takes his hand, pulling him toward the car. He holds his hands out for the keys, and it’s a testament to Dean’s current mental state that he hands them over to Cas without even so much as a peep of protest.

Cas drives them back to the bunker and ushers Dean into their room, where he sits Dean down on the bed. “Dean, this is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Cas asks when he settles on the bed next to Dean.

Dean stares at him for a long moment, and then says, “I still haven’t written my vows.”

“Okay. You don’t have to write anything for me, you know.”

Dean’s head snaps up and he grabs Cas’s hand. “Yeah, I do.”

Cas kisses the back of Dean’s hand. “Okay. You still want to get married?”

“What? Of _course_ I do, Cas. Why’d you ask that?”

Cas scrubs the back of his neck and looks at his shoes. “Well, you seemed a little worried.”

“I was?” Dean’s eyes are wide, and he looks at Cas with a dazed expression.

“Oh boy,” Cas says, and he pulls Dean into an embrace. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

The question’s a punch to the gut, and Dean can’t figure out why Cas keeps asking it over and over. He inhales, taking in the scent of Cas, the slightly citrus scent overlaying the pure musk of his skin, and it centers him. He recognizes that he’s freaking out, that he’s not behaving normally, and he’s incredibly glad that Sam’s not here to see this, because he would never, ever, ever hear the end of it.

“Yes. I’m just...” Dean nuzzles into Cas a little further, pressing his lips to his neck. “This is the most permanent thing I have ever done. My whole life has never been about setting down roots or tying myself to one person, place or thing.”

“You have Sam, and the Impala,” Cas points out.

“Yeah, but...” Dean’s not exactly sure how to explain it, because Sam and the Impala, they’re different than Cas. Sam is his brother, and Dean loves him more fiercely than he can possibly explain. But Sam, like the Impala, is also a responsibility. Cas is a choice. And for Dean to choose Cas is a momentous thing, larger than most of the choices he’s had to make in his life previous to this. He tries explaining this to Cas, who looks puzzled for a long time, until Dean stops talking and stares down at his hands. Cas just waits on Dean, because he’s an expert on all things Dean. He knows that Dean needs the time, so he just lets them sit there, together.

Finally, Dean says, “You’re a choice, Cas. I don’t get to make choices.” It’s said quietly, just barely overlaying the silence in the room.

Cas nods, and Dean can feel the motion more than he can see it. “With me, you’ll always have a choice.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Dean laces their fingers together. “You know, you look really hot in your tux.”

“Well, thank goodness. The marriage is saved,” Cas says dryly. Dean rolls his eyes and tackles Cas, pressing him into the mattress.

“Just the wedding night, dude.” Dean settles on top of Cas, brushing aside some of his hair, which has grown pretty long in recent months. “You sure you’re willing to put up with being married to me? I can be kind of annoying.”

Cas thinks about it for a long moment. In fact, he thinks about it for so long, that Dean says, “Cas?”

Cas can’t keep up the straight face, though, and he cracks a smile. “Of course, Dean.”

“Of course,” Dean rolls his eyes at his friend, again, because he really can be kind of a shit sometimes. He’s laughing though, because yeah, he gets to marry his best friend. Awesome.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Schmoopiest chapter yet.
> 
> Thanks to [Lis](http://clotpoleofthelord.tumblr.com) for being a fantastic beta, of course! Thanks also to [Rob](http://thedisreputabledog.tumblr.com/) for coming up with the description of Charlie's dress, which you can actually see [here.](http://blogs-images.forbes.com/johngaudiosi/files/2012/07/felicia-day-300x242.jpg)

The wedding is tomorrow, and Dean still doesn't have his vows written. He wants them to be perfect, but every time he sits down to write them, the blank page just sits there and mocks him. He can't find a way to put into words - words that he's willing to say in front of their friends and his family - what Cas means to him.

The thing is that there really aren't _words_. How do you express what the person who pulled you out of Hell means to you? The person who rebelled against Heaven because of you? The person who looks at you like you're the most important person in the world? It's not something Dean thinks he can do.

He's tempted to just ask Cas, but that's copping out, really. Instead, he decides he's going to ask Sam.

He finds Sam in his room, a lone lamp barely lighting the space.

"Sam, we can get you another light, you know," Dean says from the doorway.

Sam looks up at him and shrugs. "I don't mind." He closes his laptop. "You ready for tomorrow?"

Dean pushes off the door jamb and comes into the room, shutting the door behind him. Sam raises an eyebrow. "I, um... The vows. I can't come up with anything to say," Dean says, plopping down on the end of Sam's bed.

Sam's eyebrows rise up, but he waits for Dean to go on.

"Nothing I think of is right. It's... Sam, it's Cas, how do I..." Dean scrubs his face. "I can't put how I feel into words."

"Huh," Sam says, and that's all he says for several minutes. He knows Dean is waiting for an answer, some kind of magic wand that he can wave and the vows will appear, perfect. The thing is that he's not going to be able to do that for Dean. He says as much, and Dean heaves a huge sigh, as if he'd been expecting that answer, but had really hoped to hear otherwise.

"Dean," Sam says. "I'm not going to go all chick flick on you, because I know you hate that. But think about..." Sam stops, trying to pick the right words. "Think about things you've wanted to tell Cas, but for whatever reason, you never have. It doesn't have to be a lot, man, it can just be one or two things. Just... whatever you need him to know."

Dean groans, hiding his face in his hands. "I don't think I can say that stuff in front of everyone."

"Pretend that we're not there. The only person who matters is Cas, anyway, right?" Sam asks. Dean thinks about this for a minute, and then nods.

"Yeah. Yeah Sammy, you're right." Dean gets up and claps Sam on the shoulder. "Thanks Sam."

Sam unfolds himself from his chair and hugs Dean. "I'm really happy for you, Dean. Both of you."

Dean, his cheeks warm and slightly pink, shoves a bit at Sam, wanting this _moment_ to be over.

"I mean it, Dean. You and Cas, man. You have something really special." Sam looks down at his fingers, picking a bit at the skin on the side of his thumb. "I'm a little jealous, actually." He hesitates. "I don't even think that Jess and I had what you and Cas have. It's... it's amazing, you know that, right?"

Dean swallows past the lump that's suddenly appeared in his throat. "Yeah, Sammy. I do." His voice is hoarse, rough with emotion. He's the one who hugs Sam this time, squeezing tightly. He clears his throat and straightens his over shirt, pulling it taut. He and Sam look at each other awkwardly for a minute, and then Dean leaves. Sam grins at his brother's retreating back. Dean was going to be okay, and the warm feeling that settled in his stomach at that thought was just awesome.

* * *

 

Everyone they invited came. It wasn't that many people, not really, but when Dean peeks out into the banquet room of the hotel, it's kind of overwhelming that they are all there, in this small hotel just outside of Des Moines, Iowa. That they all came for _him and Cas_. He inhales deeply and steps inside the small room. Jody's the first one to catch his eye, and she gives a high pitched hello, and suddenly he's engulfed in her embrace, her warm lips on his cheek.

"Congratulations, Dean," Jody says warmly. She tightens her embrace for a moment, and then lets him go. Almost immediately, Garth's got him in his arms, and he's passed from one person to the next, getting hugged by everyone. After Garth was Kevin, then Mrs. Tran, then Krissy, who looks somewhat embarrassed after hugging him. Then Charlie holds onto him for so long, he's afraid she's not going to let him go. When she pulls away, her eyes are bright, but she's smiling. She sniffles once, and then they both give a huff of laughter.

Dean turns his head to the right, looking for Cas, and he doesn't immediately see him. Before he can whip his head in the other direction, Cas is on his left side, sliding his hand into Dean's. He smiles at Dean, who returns it, and then everyone around them is asking a million questions, from whether they're going on a honeymoon to how the proposal went. Cas stays silent, letting Dean navigate the barrage, until Sam comes over with a small tray of champagne flutes. Everyone grabs one, and Sam holds his up.

"To Dean and Cas," Sam says, and there's an answering chorus from everyone there. They all drink, and things are much more casual and relaxed after that. There's conversation between everyone, the sounds filling the library. Dean hangs back after a while and watches everyone, friends – family – who came from far flung places to see them get married. He feels warm, and something else, something he can't quite identify, but he thinks might be happiness.

No one drinks too much, saving the revelry for the next day after the ceremony. Most of them want to make it an early night so they trickle out of the banquet room back to their own rooms. Dean and Cas clasp hands and begin to head back to their room as well.

"Oh, no you don't," Sam says, snagging Cas's shoulder.

"What?" Cas asks.

"You're not supposed to spend the night before you get married together," Sam explains as if this is common knowledge that everyone has.

Cas's brows draw together. "What? Why?"

Sam thinks about this for a minute, but then shrugs and says, "I don't know. It's tradition."

The look that Cas gives Dean shows exactly what Cas thinks of this particular tradition, but before either one of them can protest, Sam has slung his arm around Cas's shoulders and is leading him down the hallway away from their room.

"Oh, okay. Good night, then," Dean calls after them, feeling a bit bereft. He goes into their room, which seems bigger, somehow, now that he’s the only one in it, and he sits on the edge of the bed. His eyes light on the photo of him with Mary that he brought with him, and he picks it up, exhaling shakily.

Dean stares down at the photo for a long few moments before he says, “I’m getting married tomorrow, Mom.” He pauses, not sure what else he wants to say, but then he knows exactly what he wants to tell her. “You’d like Cas, Mom. He’s awesome. He’s badass, and he loves me, can you believe that?” He stops, as if waiting for her to respond, and then he says, “I love him, too. I wish...” he shakes his head. “Maybe one day you guys can meet.” It’s not quite what he wants to say, not really, but he’s barely holding on as it is, so he puts the picture back on the nightstand and gets ready for bed.

After he turns out the light, he lies awake in the dark, his eyes on the ceiling as he thinks about tomorrow. He’s not nervous about the actual marriage part, but he still has no idea what he’s going to say to Cas, and that bothers him. This should be easy, shouldn't it? He falls asleep wondering why he’s having such a hard time.

* * *

 

Dean had been convinced that he'd spend the whole night tossing and turning, trying to think of the right words to say, but he didn't. He wakes up, just as he always does, around six. He's still at a loss for what he's going to say, but that seems to be the way things are for now, at least. He gets up and stretches. The ceremony isn't until the 11 o'clock, so he's got lots of time. He wonders if he can sneak down the hall into whatever room Sam stashed Cas for the night.

He pulls on his bathrobe and slippers and opens the door. Standing just on the other side is Charlie, who has a mug of coffee in one hand and a bagel with cream cheese in the other. She hands both to him and pushes him back into the room.

"What?" Dean asks.

"I know what you were thinking about, and Sam and I have agreed. You and Cas can't see each other until the ceremony," Charlie says, and she moves a chair so it's in front of the door. Dean's effectively trapped in his room with her, and unless he wants to bodily pick her up and move her aside, he's got nowhere to go. He decides to do the adult thing, and sticks his tongue out at her. She mimics his motion and folds her arms across her chest.

"Fine," Dean says, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Fine!" Charlie retorts. They stare at each other for a minute, and then smirk. Dean gives in and eats the bagel Charlie brought him, sipping his coffee in between bites.

"So," Charlie says after a minute. "You ready? All set to take Cas on forever?"

Dean thinks about it for a minute, and realizes, that yeah, he's absolutely ready for what comes after the wedding. It's the actual ceremony part that's going to be the problem. "I am, yeah."

Charlie arches an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Sure, for the marriage. It's the vows, Charlie. I can't..." Dean stops, and shrugs. "I haven't been able to think of anything to say. But," he grins at her, "I'm sure I'll think of  something."

Charlie looks a little skeptical, but she keeps her thoughts to herself. She just nods her head briskly and gets out of the chair. "If I leave you here so I can go get dressed, are you gonna try and sneak in to see Cas?" Dean gives her a look. She holds her hands up. "Yeah, okay. Well, see if you can get past Sam's defenses." She comes over to where he's sitting and kisses him on his cheek. "You and Cas are going to be awesome today."

Dean pulls her into a tight hug and kisses the side of her head. "Yeah, I know."

She leaves, and he pokes his head into the hallway a few minutes later, thinking that at least he'll sneak into the lobby to grab some more coffee. The coast is clear, at least for now, and he's able to get a second mug of coffee unmolested. There's an underlying hum of activity about the place, as people get ready behind various closed doors. He can hear Kevin and his mom talking about something - they're not quite arguing, but clearly Kevin's a bit frustrated, if his tone is anything to go by. Dean smiles to himself as he goes back to his room and sets his cup of coffee on the night stand.

For the next hour or so, he’s bombarded with visitors, all of them rapping brightly on his door. They seem to know that he’s awake, even though by this time it’s only just past seven. He’s beginning to wish he’d put a _Do Not Disturb_ sign on his doorknob, but somehow he thinks that wouldn’t deter them very much.

By mid-morning, he’s not had a minute to himself, and he _still_ has no idea what he’s going to say to Cas when it comes time for the vows. He’s beginning to worry that maybe that means that this isn’t the right thing after all.

There’s more tapping at his door, and Dean practically tears the hinges off opening the thing, ready to bark out an irritated, “What!?” to whomever is on the other side.

But it’s Sam. He’s got the puppy eyes on, and he’s almost fully dressed, the ends of his bow tie dangling around his neck and his jacket nowhere to be seen. The ends of his hair are still a little damp, reminding Dean that he hasn’t gotten ready yet.

“Sam,” Dean says, and he opens the door to let his brother in. Sam comes in and closes the door behind him with a gentle click.

“You look a little frazzled.”

Dean snorts. This is the understatement of the century. He says as much, and Sam just nods, as if he’d been expecting that answer.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, you know. You’ll say the right thing. You usually do,” Sam says. He grabs the garment bag holding Dean’s tuxedo and opens it. He lays out the tux on the bed. “You should probably shower and get ready.” Dean nods, but doesn’t make a move toward the bathroom. He’s wondering if this is preface to a “I’m the little brother, but I’m gonna give you the big brother” speech, but Sam doesn’t look like he’s going to say anything else. He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head towards the bathroom.

“You do remember how to shower?” Sam asks eventually, and Dean snorts again. He feels a bit lighter as he heads into the bathroom and showers. When he comes out, Sam’s not there anymore, but there’s a note on top of the tux that says, _You chose each other. That’s all that matters_. Dean stares down at it for a good five minutes, until he realizes that he’s naked, and actually kind of chilly. He sets it aside in order to get dressed and then puts the note in the pocket of his pants once he’s pulled them on.

By the time he’s clothed and satisfied with how he looks, it’s just about time for the ceremony. Where did the time go? He takes a deep breath and opens his door, ready to do this. Charlie’s on the other side, looking stunning in a bright dress with blues, greens and yellows that reminds Dean a little bit of a butterfly. Her eyes widen when she takes in Dean, and she slips her arm through his.

“Dude, you are smoking hot in that tux. It’s almost enough to make a girl reconsider her sexuality.” She looks up at Dean slyly. “Almost.” He laughs with her, and they walk out to the car.

“Everyone else already on their way?” he asks, and Charlie nods. He opens the door of the Impala for her with a flourish, and she slides into the car. He jogs around the front and when he starts up the car, she rumbles to life.

The park is about a ten minute drive from the hotel, and when Dean parks, he sees that everyone else is already there. He can pick out everyone’s cars, and down the pathway a bit, he can just make out Sam towering above Mrs. Tran.

There’s a tiny cluster of outdoor seating split in half by an aisle, and at the top of end of the aisle they’d placed three wooden arched window frames and decorated them with flowers. It gave the impression of being inside a church while being surrounded by the gorgeous trees of the park. On either side of the chairs were two more aisles that Dean and Cas would walk down to get married. Off to the side, they’d set up a long table and covered it with more flowers of all kinds of colors. When they’d been planning, Dean had balked at having lots of flowers, but out here, in the park, it was perfect.

Charlie leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t take too long getting down the aisle, okay? These shoes aren’t really made for standing on grass.” He laughs and squeezes her gently to him. She hurries down the middle aisle to the front, and everyone else takes that as their cue to sit. Dean can’t see Cas yet, but he knows he will soon.

The music for their processional begins, [Hallelujah](http://youtu.be/PBo-n_17XU0), and Dean takes a deep breath. He starts down the left side, not even trying to stop the urge to see if Cas is walking down the right. He’s there, tall and strong, handsome, his hair reigned in, but not fully tamed. He catches Dean’s eye and smiles, that small special smile that he only shares with Dean. Dean’s heart flutters as he returns the look.

Everyone stands, and Charlie’s beaming at them from the front. Sam’s standing off to the right side, and his grin is so wide that Dean thinks his face might crack in two. In fact, a quick survey of the faces of their friends shows that they, too, are smiling from ear-to-ear. It’s at once too much and not enough, and Dean has to remind himself to breathe as he walks.

He and Cas arrive in front of Charlie at the same time, and they exchange shy smiles. Dean’s feeling a bit overwhelmed at the solemn air surrounding them, so he winks at Cas, who tries to return the gesture, but only succeeds in blinking slowly. Charlie begins talking, but Dean’s not really paying attention to what she’s saying. Her voice drifts into the background as he takes in Cas standing before him, his entire worldview narrowed down to the one person - ex-angel - standing next to him. Cas looks stunning in his tuxedo, the waistcoat molding to his waist just so, and someone helped him with his tie, because it’s done up perfectly. And even though there was an attempt to fix Cas’s hair, it’s still a little on the unruly side, so uniquely Cas that Dean’s glad they weren’t able to fully tame it.

Dean’s so taken with Cas that at first he doesn’t realize that Charlie’s asked him a question. She clears her throat loudly and when Dean looks at her, she says, “Dean, will you take Cas to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and protect him and forsaking all others to be faithful to him until death do you part?”

Dean doesn’t even hesitate when he looks at Cas and says, “I will.”

Charlie repeats the question to Cas, whose smile bursts into full bloom as he says, “I will,” in a loud, clear voice that everyone can hear. Garth makes an aborted yelping sound, cut off abruptly when Krissy elbows him sharply. Charlie nods her head at Krissy, winking her thanks.

“The grooms have written their own vows,” Charlie glances sharply at Dean. “And they’re going to say them now. Cas?”

Cas straightens his shoulders and takes Dean’s hands in his own. “Dean,” he begins, but his voice is rough and a bit wobbly, so he clears his throat and starts again. “Dean. You will always have my heart and ... my soul. I promise you my love, and my honesty, for as long as we’re together both now and after death.” He squeezes Dean’s hand briefly and nods, as if he’s satisfied. His voice carries through the clearing, and after he finishes speaking, stillness fills the air.

Dean takes a deep breath and grins. “Cas,” his voice is low, so quiet that only Cas can hear him. “I, um. I didn’t really write anything out before, so this is gonna just be from me. Right now.” Dean clears his throat. “I didn’t think that I could have what I wanted, Cas, until you. And you helped me realize that I could have things – you – if I wanted. You’ve saved me more times than I can count, and I hope that I can spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me. Cas, I’m gonna screw this up, but I promise you that I will do everything I can to fix it when I do.” Dean swallows and says, “I love you.”

He stops, not sure if he should add anything else, and then he decides it was just right. He looks at Charlie, who winks at him. She turns to Sam and asks him for the rings. The ring portion of the ceremony passes in a blur, with Charlie’s talking sounding more like the teachers in the Snoopy animated cartoons, and then she’s saying in a loud, triumphant voice, “Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you Mr. and Mr. Winchester!”

Cas leans in and kisses Dean. Garth whoops and hollers, and Dean can hear applause and whistling. Cas nibbles on Dean’s lower lips and murmurs, “Thank you, Dean.”

“What for?” Dean asks, speaking as quietly as Cas had.

“For what you said.” Cas kisses Dean again, cupping the side of Dean’s face with his left hand. Dean can feel the metal band of Cas’s wedding ring on his cheek, and he grins. Reaching up, he holds Cas’s hand, relishing the soft clinking sound the rings make as they knock together while he does. They turn to face their family, and, lacing their fingers, they walk back down the aisle _together_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I am actually that person, here's a [Pinterest board](http://pinterest.com/riannacello/dc-wed-fic/) of stuff that I looked at while I was writing this chapter.


End file.
